A Little Quote by Tennessee Williams...

A Little Quote From Nathaniel Hawthorne...

The Blessing of Family

Well, this post is a little late, but things have been pretty busy for me.  I had the opportunity to fly to Milwaukee, WI over fall break, and let me tell you, It was a fantastic experience.  I met my family up there and we stayed in a cabin in Door County.  A beautiful county filled with wine orchard after wine orchard, and tons of cute boutiques.  So, in other words, it was my kind of place.  We mainly just enjoyed each others community with the addition of some shopping, and a Packers game.  My entire family on my dad's side was there and it was so great to see them!  On Sunday, we went to the Packers vs. Rams game, which was a blast!  We got there early and tailgated a little bit, and then sat down in Lambeu field and rooted on the green and gold.  So that was fall break and it came at just the right time.  I've been feeling really homesick this year.  I was a bit last year, but nowhere near this much.  I think part of it is because both Jonathan and Gabrielle are now married, and Jon has a baby on the way.  My family is starting to have their own lives and pursue their dreams, which is great, but difficult, when it means they don't have as much time to spend with you.  So being able to have my entire family together and not have to worry about celebrating a holiday was wonderful.  They are all truly a blessing and I enjoy every minute of the time I get to spend with them.  Oh, and I got to see Mason Crosby!!!! :)

Please Realize.

Easy-Rascal Flatts

This song has been stuck in my head the last couple of days....so I thought I'd share it. :)

-Antoine de Saint-Exupert

To All The Haters.

You have the ability to prove them wrong

You have the potential to show them that you’re better

They have made their accusations

And right now, you’re telling them that they’re right

You’re letting them win

You’re giving in

But they’re wrong

They want you to fail

We all know that

They want you to fall 

They don’t believe that you can amount to anything

But you can

Show them you can

Stand up and be a man

Let them crumble

Let them realize how false their allegations really are

Show them that you can conquer your addictions

That you can overcome your disorders

That their judgmental glares don’t control your life

That this life, this life that is only a vapor is meant to be lived

That they can waste their time 

That they can be bitter about their downfalls and their disillusion

But your life should not be wasted

Your life should instead be an adventure

So that when you look back you will have no regrets

So stop listening to the hypocrites all around you

Stop listening and prove the haters wrong. 

Hands and Feet

I apologize for the lack of posting that has happened here recently.  I haven't been in a writing mood for a long time.  I don't know why, but the words won't flow whenever I sit down to write.  Wether I'm writing a blog post, and poem or a letter home, I find myself unable.  So I thought I would give y'all a poem instead.  This one is called Hands and Feet.

People are dying

Their mothers just sitting there crying.

And back home, my favorite team is losing.

While I’m sitting so much on my butt that its bruising

But what happens if I get up?

What happens if I take up the cup?

But it’s so degrading, 

If I get up and start fading

What will the world think?

But maybe, just maybe I am that missing link

Maybe it’s me that needs to go, 

To not wait for the end of the show

But to get up now and never look back

To pick up my cross and carry my pack

Maybe it’s me that could bring the healing

That could restore the feeling

I felt it before, I know where they’re at

I know where they sit, It’s right where I sat.

But to leave everything behind?

People would think I’m losing my mind.

To leave my friends and my family?

To get down in the dirt, to take a knee?

Well thats just unheard of

No one cares for love

It’s all about hate and war

And who of the money can make more

But I’m so sick and tired of all this crap

So sick of everyone just laying around talking a nap

Why do I idly sit and wait?

What am I waiting for? The destruction of hate?

It’s not going anywhere until I love

Not going anywhere until I mimic the One sent from above

This is a problem, when I am so covered in sin

It’s a problem when I don’t look like Him

A problem I can’t fix

A problem that at my brain so ever licks

I want to be your hands and feet

But at this place I need You and me to meet

I can’t go forward without You

Your will can’t do too

Make me, mold me

Shape me into one of the few. 

The few that leaves everything

For Your will and Your praises to sing

The few that really care 

The few that are so rare

The ones that will get down in the mud

And pull out the kids from under the crud

The ones that will go down to Hell make me

Someone who will fight not flee

Make me Yours and Yours alone

That I might rescue those that moan

That I might really show them your grace

That I might be a picture of your face

I’m so tired of making up an excuse

as the rope tightens and makes a noose

It’s killing me, you know

To sit here a reap what I sow

To be lazy and full of hate

A Christian you ask? Well I’m just second rate

I don’t actually care for the ones my God did

I sit around and say I’m just a kid

But what does that matter

When the world around me is one big tatter?

I’m just a kid?  That’s no exception

That’s not a reason for others to feel rejection.

What about Peter? What about Paul?

What would’ve happened if they just leaned against the wall?

What if I go and I’m not second rate?

What If I go and I’m not very great?

What if I go and they don’t remember my name?

What if I don’t find fortune and fame?

What am I saying?! That’s not the point at all.

The point is for me to help save others from the fall

To be Christ and show His compassion

Even if it doesn’t fit in with the worldly fashion

To be His hands and feet

To see people where they’re at and their needs to meet.  

Why do I have a tendency to burn every bridge I build?

I long to be so in love with God that I am intoxicated by His spirit.  I long for the worries and problems of this world would melt away with every thought of Him.  To be so inebriated by Him that all I feel is joy and happiness.  I long for this love.

New favorite song. 

Someone Else's Thoughts...

one of the hardest parts about growing up is realizing that relationships are not as magical or as effortless that we, as children, so naively believed they were.

love is not all about red roses on valentine's day, or waltzing in an empty room to no music. it is not always comprised of sexy, passionate kisses in the rain, or romantic candlelit dinners.

love does not equal that perfect, pristine wedding on the beach, no matter how much we wish it did.

no, sometimes love is broken dishes on the floor, and tempers so high they threaten to burst through the ceiling. it is a drunk prince charming or an slutty snow white. it is loneliness echoing and aching deep inside your bones and it is the feeling of tears drying on your face like wax.

love is not disney. love is complicated. love is messy.

when i was younger, i believed that you could title a loved one. oh, she's his fiance. oh, they're boyfriend and girlfriend. oh, he's her husband. it is only now, as a teenager, that i realize this is not how love works. there is not a name to fit every relationship, although we've certainly tried with terms like friends with benefits.

we keep convincing ourselves that our happiness lies on one set of lips, that our lives would be peachy if we just managed to receive one kiss, or one wedding, or one boyfriend.

but love isn't about kisses or weddings or titles.

it's about how much you care, how long you will listen, how far you will go and to what lengths you will forgive.

the bottom line is, if you truly, deeply and honestly love someone, you will want them in your life, even if you never receive that kiss or that wedding.

-anonymous

Homeless

I've always had this longing inside of me to be homeless. I'm not entirely sure why. Perhaps, because I want to do something countercultural. Perhaps, because I feel like it would help me understand things better. Perhaps, because it might solve all of my problems. I cannot say why it appeals to me so much, but only that it does.
But now, here I am exactly 759 miles from "home," and I couldn't help but feel homeless. A feeling of lostness has overcome my heart. As though I am once again a small child wandering the aisles of a grocery store searching for my mother, and the comfort that she brings. When I was at school last year and this happened, I would think to myself, it will be okay, because you will go home and everything will be the same as it was in high school. However, upon returning home, things were hardly the same. There was a feeling of emptiness there as well. And I once again tried to reassure myself by saying, it's okay, you'll go back to school, and everything will be the same. And for the most part it is, but I feel like I've left a piece of myself behind. Or maybe to put it better, I've left many pieces of myself behind, scattered all of the place. I have become so attached to some people, that I feel homeless and empty without them.
And so, to come to the point as to why I am actually writing this, I started thinking about what home really is. And home should be in the arms of God. But how can you find comfort in the arms of someone you can't feel? How can you find reassurance in a voice so small and quiet? How can you find encouragement in eyes you can't see? How can you find home in someone who was homeless? I guess my point is that I'm struggling with the idea that I might never feel like I have a home, because I was not made for this world. I was made for something more, something greater. So as I live on this earth, I will forever be homesick. I will forever be homeless.