I'm a dreamer. I don't know that I've ever really admitted that, because pretending to be a realist is much easier. When you're a realist, there aren't any shattered dreams, because there weren't any dreams to begin with. But that's where the problem lies. How do you go through life without dreaming?
I have so many dreams, wants, and expectations for myself and my life. I want so much out of this life. But I'm afraid that I might want too much. I want to live in a loft in Seattle or Portland. I want to accidentally bump into someone at the market and become great friends with them. I want to sit in coffee shops with my husband and talk about Jack Kerouac and C.S. Lewis. I want to have beautiful children that are creative and talented. I want to own my own business. I want to write novels. I want to travel the world. I want to get tattoos. I want to bike across America. I want to love the unlovable. I want to feed the hungry. I want to learn new languages. I want backpack across Europe. I want so many things. And the quote that I continually come back to is by Mary Oliver:
"Tell me, what is it you plan to do
with your one wild and precious life?"
I know that I don't need to make a choice right now, but it seems as though making a choice is equivalent with moving forward. And why should I waste these valuable days? So here is the big question: Do I continue on living as though my dreams are unreachable? Do I settle for less? Do I settle for what seems appropriate and realistic? Or do I dream with my eyes open? Do I chase my dreams as though they are all I have? I want to run and dance and dream, and I want my dreams to be a reality.