Expectations

I'm a dreamer.  I don't know that I've ever really admitted that, because pretending to be a realist is much easier.  When you're a realist, there aren't any shattered dreams, because there weren't any dreams to begin with.  But that's where the problem lies.  How do you go through life without dreaming?

I have so many dreams, wants, and expectations for myself and my life.  I want so much out of this life.  But I'm afraid that I might want too much.  I want to live in a loft in Seattle or Portland.  I want to accidentally bump into someone at the market and become great friends with them.  I want to sit in coffee shops with my husband and talk about Jack Kerouac and C.S. Lewis.  I want to have beautiful children that are creative and talented.  I want to own my own business.  I want to write novels.  I want to travel the world.  I want to get tattoos.  I want to bike across America.  I want to love the unlovable.  I want to feed the hungry.  I want to learn new languages.  I want backpack across Europe.  I want so many things.  And the quote that I continually come back to is by Mary Oliver:

  "Tell me, what is it you plan to do
  with your one wild and precious life?"

I want to live this life to the fullest.  But, are my dreams to only be seen when I close my eyes?  Are my expectations only to be attained through photographs seen in books? What if everything that I want is completely unattainable and I go through life dissatisfied?

I know that I don't need to make a choice right now, but it seems as though making a choice is equivalent with moving forward.  And why should I waste these valuable days?  So here is the big question: Do I continue on living as though my dreams are unreachable?  Do I settle for less?  Do I settle for what seems appropriate and realistic?  Or do I dream with my eyes open?  Do I chase my dreams as though they are all I have?  I want to run and dance and dream, and I want my dreams to be a reality.