Ransomed

I’m lonely.  I’m insecure. 

But Your love alone brings the cure. 

You bring me freedom.  You bring me life.

No longer do I have to worry about this strife.

I may not feel good enough, and I know that I’m not.

But recently if there’s one thing you taught, 

It’s that when I fall short

There’s no need for retort.

You fill me up.  You make me whole.

You bring fulfillment to my soul.

My past is gone, there’s no looking back

I no longer have to carry this burden, this pack

You have paid the ransom

And at your feet I will come.

I will lay down my exis-tence

I will no longer ride the fence

You payed the price

Even when I roll the dice

Sometimes I take my chances

When the things of this world put me in trances.

And I’m done with all that

For Your love is greater than what I’ve valued it at

A price too high for me to pay 

But then again you didn’t even give me a say

You paid before I even knew the cost

You paid before I even realized what I’d lost

Or what I gained

You sweet sweet love on me rained

You showed me that I can never live this life alone

That I no longer in my grave have to groan

You showed me that there is hope

That I no longer have to try to climb up that never-ending slope

I would never have made it to the top anyway

Heck, I’d never even make it halfway

But by your power

I don’t have to cower

I don’t have to be afraid

Because every single day you come to my aid

You conquered over death and dying

So I know longer in my grave have to be lying.

Out of my heart you took the knife.

Through Your love, You gave me life. 

Pesto Pasta

I am home from school and loving the time away from studying.  One thing that I hate about college is the fact that you can't cook.  Well, you can, but it is so difficult to do.  But, since I am home, I have been dong some cooking and baking.  Here is a recipe that I found for pesto, and it was delicious! I changed it a bit, so I've put my version of it on here.  bon appetite!

Ingredients

• 1 pound dried linguini
• 1 bunch basil leaves (about 2.5 ounces)
• 1/2 cup pine nuts
• 1/2 cup of parmesan cheese
• 2 Tbsp. fresh lemon juice (about 1/2 of a lemon)
• 3 garlic cloves
• 1/2 cup olive oil
• Salt, to taste
• Freshly ground black pepper, to taste

• In a large pot, bring water to a boil. Add the pasta and cook to package directions. 
• While the pasta cooks, create the pesto by blending the basil, pine nuts, avocados, lemon juice, garlic, and olive oil in a food processor. Season with the salt and pepper.
• Drain the pasta. 
• In a large serving bowl, toss the pesto with hot, freshly cooked pasta.

I am 19 years old.  I have struggled with eating disorders since I was 15.  I am sick and tired of it.  I thought I had it all figured out and I was done with it.  But every time you comment on my weight, or you say I'm eating unhealthy, or you talk about me gaining weight, you make me spiral backwards.  You make me think maybe I just shouldn't eat anything at all, then I don't have to worry about wether or not it's healthy.  You make me think that I will never be good enough for you.  You make me realize how ugly and fat I am.  So please, stop talking about food and weight and exercise and whats healthy and whats not healthy.  Please just be quite.  The voices in my head that are already telling me all that are enough, I don't need yours to add to the constant degradation.

It's Poetry Time Ya'll!

So y'all should know by now that I love me some poetry. So rock out! I apologize for the bad word at the beginning   If you want to skip it you will only miss the first line of the poem.  Just skip to 0:32.

My Momma

Its a little cheesy, but it's mothers day.  I love you momma!

So many things to say,

With so little words coming to my mind.

One day 19 years ago,

You became my mom and for that I love you so.

You shaped me and molded me,

That one day the Lord might I see.

I thank you so much for your love.

For your never ending dedication.

You truly are a Godsend.  

You stayed by my side even when I didn’t want you

You showered me with love and gifts all so new

You picked me up when I fell

You brushed of the dust and one thing you would tell:

That I am big and strong no tears need I cry

Just one more time do I need to try

You pushed me to be all that I could

You wanted the best for me, 

And for that I would

I want to please you

To make you smile

Even though we are separated by many more that a mile

Thanks for everything

Thanks for all you do

Thanks for loving me too

You are an incredible mother

I would never wish for another

You are so beautiful and strong

It seems as if you never do anything wrong

I pray one day I will be half the momma that you are 

That one day I might hit that par

I love you momma

Thanks once more

For helping me spread my wings and soar.